That's Nall, Folks!

I'm moving

2006-11-15T09:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been inspired by my good friend David Smith so I'm moving. My new blog will be www.thatsnallfolks.wordpress.com. It's the same great taste in a new package. Thanks for all the comments and reflections you share. You inspire me to follow Christ more closely and are a part of what God is doing in my life.

2006-11-13T06:02:00.000-07:00

I'm on a roll. A week ago I locked my keys in my car twice (one time the car was running at it was while meeting a friend for lunch at Jason's Deli.) Friday night I took my family to a cabin at Heber Springs that some friends from Bryant own. About 10 minutes away from the cabin I had the startling revelation that I had left the key to the cabin at home. I called the owner and told him I couldn't look Deana in the eye and tell her what I had done. Deana, bless her heart, did an amazing job keeping her composure. No sarcasm, no shoes flying, no lumps on my head. As it turns out, a neighbor in Heber Springs had a spare key, so we had an amazing time. I've never lived anywhere that the leaves turned orange or brown or any other color due to natural causes.

What a great view of the river. I can't wait to go back and spend some
time fly fishing. There were guys out here catching trout all over
the place.

I have the cutest girls ever!

I think Deana posted this tree on her blog.

There aren't trees that do this in Alaska

or Baytown.

2006-11-07T06:03:00.000-07:00

I have a friend whose wife has been in Nicaragua since May adopting a child. It's been a long, arduous, painful and joy-filled journey for this family. While his wife has been in Nicaragua he's been at home with their children here in Little Rock. They have hung in there jumping through all the hoops, cutting through all the red tape, doing everything that's been asked of them just to bring home a child. By the time the wife comes home, it will have been 7 months. I'm not sure I would have hung in there that long. I don't know if I'd have made it. But they cling to the hope that she'll be home by December.

I thought of them as I considered Paul's words in Colossians this morning.

"We thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints - the faith and love that spring from the hope stored up for you in heaven and that you have already heard about in the word of truth, the gospel, that has come to you."

Am I so filled by the hope I have in Christ that I act out of love and faith in all aspects of my life?

Real Beauty

2006-10-31T09:19:00.000-07:00

God told Samuel to look past the external features he saw in Jesse's oldest son. Instead, God reminded Samuel that he looks at the heart of a person. But we seem obsessed with outward appearances. Here's a link to a site I've found very interesting. It might even be helpful as we help our teenage girls better understand what true beauty really is. The video really hits home about how distorted our view of beauty just might be. Thanks to Mary Beth for the link.

Enough

2006-10-25T09:12:00.000-06:00

"I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never grow hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty."

" I am the living bread that come down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world."

"Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day."

Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me."

"But everyone who drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

"My food is to do the will of him who sent me."

If I really believe Jesus is who he says he is... if I've really given my life to following him... if I say I have surrendered my life to him... If I really trust that the words he spoke above are true, then why is it that he's not always enough? Even though the things I often turn to for fulfillment always leave me empty, wanting more, why do I keep trying to find meaning and fulfillment in anything other than Christ?

My prayer is for Jesus to simply be enough.

2006-10-23T08:55:00.000-06:00

Here's an excerpt from something I read this morning that I'm considering for the day.

"Jesus makes us uncomfortable, causes us to question our daily practices. Jesus' life reminds us of the realities of suffering, hostility, hatred and resistance that often accompany any attempts at living in truth and love."
Mark Yaconelli, Contemplative Youth Ministry

I'm not sure how much of these I've really experienced as a follower of Christ. Maybe that says something about the way I follow.

2006-10-18T10:00:00.000-06:00

Did you know that if you buy an F series pick up truck from a dealer in Benton, you'll also get a 12-guage shot gun? I'm feeling more like I'm back home in Alaska. Instead of a 12-guage though, I'd probably get a rifle for moose hunting if this were done in Alaska.

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I have the chance to design a youth room from the studs up. I've inherited two 30x30 rooms and its my decision on how they are to be designed. Those of you who know me well know how creative I am and how interesting this will be. Let's just say I get a lot of input from Deana because I'm just way too predictable when it comes to stuff like this.

2006-10-15T09:55:00.000-06:00

This morning during communion I was thinking about God's amazing love for me. As I read Romans 5 several times allowing its words to penetrate I began to slowly realize that I don't love others as unconditionally as I should. I began to think of the conditions that I put on others. Here are just a few that I am coming to terms with in my life:

1. I tend to love those who dress more conservativle like I do. In other words, I'm more easily drawn toward those who look more like me.

2. I tend to love those who behave well more than those who don't. I find myself having to try harder to really connect with those who don't conform to my image of what I think is a good person.

3. I tend to love more easily those who return my love.

4. I find it easier for me to love those who agree with me more than those who make me uncomfortable with their beliefs.

Jesus died for me unconditionally. He didn't wait until I met his expecations or got my act together. Lord, help me to grow in my love for all people no matter what.

Some random thoughts

2006-10-13T07:27:00.000-06:00

Last night Deana, Julia and I went to a children's play, Charlotte's Web. Although Wilbur looked more like a pink Easter bunny and Charlotte was a black widow the play was very cute. I love watching children in plays. They're so unpredictable. Some friends of ours had three children in the play and they were all so cute.

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Every Friday, Julia and I have a date before school. We leave about 15 minutes earlier than usual and stop by Strawn's Bakery for a donut and chocolate milk. It may not be healthy, but it's a cheap date.

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Tod, Jan and their boys are coming over tonight to experience Larry's Pizza for the first time. As my friend Lynn says, Friday night at Larry's is quite a local cultural experience. Tod and I grew up in Alaska together. After 11 years without spending any time together Tod and I now live 45 minutes apart. It's been one of the many blessings of being in this area.

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Mom's coming to visit soon. Enough said... It'll be good for her to be here. She's staying for a week. This will be her first visit to Arkansas and Little Rock Church.

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Wednesday night was awesome. Kendall, one of our juniors, shared what God has been doing in his life over the past year. It was amazing. Taylor, his brother, played guitar in worship and did an incredible job! I was so proud of those boys. One of the goals of Wednesday nights is to try to help students experience the love of Christ through each other. We were all pretty wound up and it was a light, energetic mood. I think they needed that. We were even telling jokes in the middle of the time together.

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Aren't relationships so important. It's through our relationships that we primarily learn how to love God. It's through our relationshis we seem to experience forgiveness, compassion, mercy, patience and all those other characteristics of the Spirit. Though I believe the Lord works in any way he chooses he seems to love to use our relationships to help us better understand his nature.

2006-10-06T07:47:00.000-06:00

"We live by faith, not by sight." - St. Paul

Faith has many faces. Faith can be seen in a single mother doing all she can to raise her children and maintain a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Faith can be seen in the work place from one who chooses to be generous and compassionate rather than seek that promotion at all costs. Faith is expressed when a student is a constant encouragement to others on her cheerleading squad. Faith is expressed when a teacher can use his art to share what God is doing in his life with his students at school.

The picture above was taken at Refuge Wednesday night as Mark, an art teacher at a local high school, used an art piece he's working on to share what God is doing in his life. It was so awesome, especially because there were 1-2 people who aren't part of our church family that know him as a teacher.

What are some different faces of faith you have seen?

2006-10-02T10:50:00.000-06:00

We had a great weekend. Julia did great in her soccer game. I was proud of the girls. We had no subs for the entire game because we were missing three teammates. They were exhausted when the game was over. Those 7-year old girls played four 10-minute quarters.

Saturday night, I got to hang with Gerald while our wives spent a night out. Gerald and I fed our kids pizza and just spent time talking. Come to find out we share similar faith journeys in that each of us has a parent with a mental disorder that has had a profound impact on our lives. Sunday we ate lunch with another couple our age who happened to be youth ministers in Baytown in years past.

Sunday, we focused on what it means to have peace in our lives. What a great thing to discuss. One thing I've learned is that peace is only experienced in the context of relationships. I may write more on this as my thoughts mature. In the meantime, God bless and pray for me.

2006-09-28T07:38:00.000-06:00

I'm learning all kinds of great things about the Little Rock area. I already knew about things like caving. mountains and fly fishing. All of which I can't wait to do. I grew up fishing and hiking so those are things I love. What I'm learning about that most excites me are the great restaurants. Jeff already introduced me to Sticky Fingerz. And now Lynn has told me about the Whole Hog Cafe. While Deana eats boca burgers I just want a good slice of BBQ pork. I've gotta try this place.

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Refuge last night was terrific. Hope decided to give her life to Christ and follow him. So, Refuge ended with her baptism. What an amazing night!

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I want to be a part of a community in which we all seek to help each other be formed more and more into the image of Christ. My prayer is that we learn to love one another in such a way that we embrace one another for who we are and journey together as followers of Christ. I pray that we invite others to join us and show them what Jesus' kingdom is.

2006-09-25T16:14:00.000-06:00

Last night while Deana was helping with our church family's Home Away from Home ministry, I took care of the girls. Jenna would shout "Julala" and tackle her big sister and they'd play together. I'm so impressed with Julia. Though she sometimes gets frustrated at Jenna, she's very good with her. More patient than I am. I got to take a picture or two of my little girls, so here they are:

If Jenna were a teenager, I'd tell her she's biscuiting and to pull her shirt down. Not to mention that her diaper is showing.

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On a completely separate note, I've been working on our Wednesday night program called Refuge. One of my biggest goals for students (and myself) is to create space to encounter God in meaningful ways. As I think about my own life I realize that I most often encounter God in the most meaningful ways when I'm alone with him and honest. Sometimes that takes place while spending time in nature. Other times while in worship with other believers. Sometimes at 6:30 AM as I'm sipping a cup of coffee considering the words of Jesus. There never seems to be just one way that happens. So please pray for this Wednesday night to be a time when students engage God and they listen as he speaks to their hearts.

2006-09-23T11:46:00.000-06:00

When it rains, it pours. At 11:30 I was standing at mid-field with another soccer coach and our ref. Our girls were set to kick off, the ref was ready to go and then God turned on the faucet. I mean it started as a light rain, but within a minute it was as if I was standing under a running faucet. (You would have thought I was back in the Houston area with the humidity and warm weather this morning.) Needless to say, neither the other coach nor I were too disappointed. So, I did what any daddy would do... took my daughter to Larry's Pizza with my vegetarian bride. No, she didn't eat any cheeseburger pizza.

We watched our first Bryant Fall Festival parade this morning at 9 AM and discovered that the parade was better than trick or treating. Julia hit the motherload of candy. We even saw a couple of teens. Way to go Sophie and Leah!

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On another note, tomorrow we're talking about the relationship between facing trials (or the church word for it is persecution) and maturing in faith. I spent the week pouring through Jesus' words and the NT writers to make this an easier topic, but here's what I've come to see from the NT writers. Jesus does indeed expect us to face trials (as Keith reminded me last week). Maybe I'm too comfortable...

2006-09-18T15:50:00.000-06:00

So, the New Orleans Saints are among the undefeated; my two starting fantasy RBs are hurt (one is out for the season, the other has played very little). What surprises to this young NFL season! I'm not thinking it's going to be a good NFL fantasty football season for me.

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As I'm learning more about my new church family, loving my heavenly Father more deeply and learning to minister to a new group of teens I'm seeing many surprises. It's amazing that what I have been doing the past 6 years has prepared more the things that I'm now doing in my new place. I see how God has prepared continued me for this time.

2006-09-14T19:31:00.000-06:00

I recently read a preacher who said he believed that God wants us to be happy and enjoy life. Though it may sound good, I tend to disagree. Maybe it's out of jealousy I have for one so financially stable, but I don't think so. As I read the article in Time and considered Jesus' words, particularly those in Matthew 5:3-11, I came to the realization that my idea of what it means to be blessed might just be slightly twisted. Though I have things and a place to live I wouldn't consider myself blessed to have them, for Jesus never said I was blessed to have those things either. I began to realize that I'm not any more blessed than my fellow follower of Christ who has no place to call home. I'm simply richer. Now, the responsibility lies with me to take what I have and offer to God in service to others in the name of Christ out of my love for him and others.

2006-09-11T08:18:00.000-06:00

Good Monsters

Jars of Clay

All the good monsters open their eyes

To see the wasteland where the home fires rise

And the people shouting "why, why, why"

Do you know what you are?

All the giants wake from their sleep

And roll outside safety's keep

And the pain makes them feel alive

Do you know what you are?

We are bored of all the things we know

Do you know what you are?

Not all monsters are bad

But the ones who are good

Never do what they could, never do what they could

All the good monsters rattle their chains

And dance around the open flames

They make a lot of empty noise

While all of the bright eyes turn away

As if there wasn't anything to say

About the justice and the mystery

Do you know what you are?

We are bored of all the things we know

And we are forms of everything we love, we love

If good won't show its ugly face

Evil, won't you take your place?

Nothing ever changes, nothing every changes by itself

We are bored of all the things that we know

Do you know what you are?

Cause we are, we're so in love with ourselves

We are forms of the things we love

2006-09-09T20:25:00.000-06:00

Dazed and confused might be the best words to describe our first soccer game today. Here are some lessons learned from our game.

1. The field is bigger than you realize.

2. When a soccer ball hits a 7-year-old square on the nose, it causes the nose to bleed.

3. It's not good when a player falls down and continues to try to kick the ball while lying on the ground.

4. Just because you don't keep score doesn't mean there's no score.

5. When little girls get tired they stop running.

I had fun this morning coaching my first game ever. I learned a lot and the girls seemed to have fun (even Tabi who got the bloody nose.) Any pointers out there from some of you soccer pros?

2006-09-09T07:42:00.000-06:00

As I was reading the Sermon on the Mount I began to realize Jesus calls us to things that will alter the course of our lives. He doesn't just offer us a system of ethics or good things to do; instead, he offers a completely different reality. His kingdom is radically different from the world in which we live.

What do you do with words that are so different than what you expect? With teaching that asks you to alter every aspect of your life, that has the ability to determine the course of your life?

2006-09-05T07:51:00.000-06:00

"He brings good things to light." This was the theme of the Best Friends retreat in Cordova, TN. We spent the weekend talking about being a light. It was a great weekend. I got to know many of our students better, spend some time with a few of our parents and even go undefeated in beach volleyball (5-0) on Sunday afternoon.
I came home exhausted, but recharged in many ways. We have a great group of students. I'm excited about Refuge on Wednesday night.

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Last week I was watching MTV's VMAs. Of all the things said that night, one person's acceptance speech stood out. Zachy Vengeance, guitarist of Avenged Sevenfold, simply said "I'd like to thank god, whichever one I believe in because I'm not quite sure yet."

They may be clumsy but...

2006-08-30T05:52:00.000-06:00

they sure were fun to coach last night.

I coached my first soccer practice last night. My team consists of seven 6-8 year-old girls. We tried to learn names, but most had trouble remembering. We tried to learn how to kick a soccer ball with the inside of your foot, but most toed the ball. We tried to show them how to stop a ball with the inside of your foot, but most stopped it with their toe, bottom of the foot, head, arm, hands or any other way they could. We even tried a little scrimmage for about ten minutes.

Though the soccer skills aren't quite there yet, they instantly played together and got a long well. They instantly accepted one another and acted as if they had known each other for years. And when it came time to go home, none of them were ready. They wanted to play some more.

Maybe I'm the one that learned a few things last night...

What's normal?

2006-08-25T12:06:00.000-06:00

We're getting settled into a routine. Tomorrow is Jenna's birthday. 2-year-olds are so fun. She was right there in Target when Deana and I bought her birthday present but she had no idea. Of course we got Julia a congratulations-you've-been-a-big-sister-for-two-years present as well. We'll celebrate tomorrow. Deana's parents are coming into town on Labor Day weekend but I'm leaving for an area-wide retreat with a group of students so I'll only see them Friday night.

I'll let you know how soccer goes. I'm looking forward to coaching this year. Our first practice is Tuesday and I'm attending a coaching clinic on Sunday.

Watch out Ronaldo

2006-08-22T15:42:00.000-06:00

We signed Julia up for soccer last week online. Deana asked me if I would be interested in coaching and I said yes, so she checked the box for assistant coach. We didn't hear anything from anyone until last night when I was informed that I could pick up my coaches packet at the Bryant United Methodist Church. I thought I might get a call and would be able to ask questions. Nope. Apparently I am the head coach of Julia's team. I played soccer in 8th grade.

2006-08-14T21:31:00.000-06:00

Today I was my first official day at LRC. I was treated to lunch at Sticky Fingerz Rock-n-Roll Chicken Shack which was great. One of the seniors baby sat tonight while Deana and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary. I took her to Sonny Williams Steak Room in Little Rock. Of course it wouldn't be a complete experience without a trip to Wal-Mart.

2006-08-06T23:59:00.000-06:00

The U-Haul is outside just waiting to be loaded. Most of our things are in boxes. I never realized we had so much stuff! I don't remember having all this. And just think, we're down sizing. I can't say enough good things about my family who sent us off tonight. We did hear a few Arkansas jokes, but what a blessing the night was! All I have to say is that I hope Little Rock Church is ready -- for my girls that is! At one point one of the teenagers who's no longer a teenager talked about how we have helped her with all the "crap in her life." She realized she said "crap" in a mic to a mixed crowd and blushed. My darling bride who's always so soft spoken just shouted "Hey, call it what it is! It's ok!"

Anyways, I hate saying good bye, but I'm so excited about the work at LRC. We will load the truck tomorrow and begin a new chapter in what has been an amazing walk with God so far. So, LRC ready or not here we come!

2006-08-03T05:30:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was a big day! Deana had a birthday and we signed the closing papers selling our home. Needless to say it was a bittersweet day. You don't realize how much you've invested in a home until you turn it over to someone else. There's a black mark high on one living room wall from a shoe mark made by a family member. Julia's room was painted blue, but we left her closet pink because she wanted to have a memory of our family before Jenna was born. Our walls are decorated with Julia's art work from over the years.

We've sat in our living room crying and praying with students over the years, hosted 24/7 groups, Bible studies, birthdays, and graduation parties in this house. We've had James Bond 007 video game parties, superbowl parties and New Year's Eve parties in this home.

Of course I know we can do the same in another home. But we loved this home. Though old and drafty, occasionally buggy it was a great home. Julia thought it was a perfect home. We will miss this home.

But, we're excited for the new owners. They'll get to figure out the quirks and adjust to the different sounds this old home makes at night just before you drift off to sleep. They'll get to mow the nearly 1/3 acre lot every 4 days. They'll get to listen to that ole creaking storm door. So, God bless the couple that lives in this home as he has blessed us through the 5 and a half years we've been here.

Oh yes..and with all the events of yesterday I must confess that for the first time since I've known Deana I forgot her birthday! What a shmuck I am! I'm trying to make up for it today. Any ideas?

2006-07-29T13:32:00.000-06:00

Deana and I had a night to ourselves last night. So, what did we do with it? Not what you might expect. We went through closets, drawers and shelves getting ready for our yard sale today. Then we got up this morning before any sensible person should and set up all our quality used things and sold most of it. Thank goodness it's all over. We should have more nights without our children.

Speaking of children, we love our little Jenna. However, she is quite different than Julia. We could have never had this garage sale with Jenna around. Here is just a samping of what I affectionately refer to as the Jenna Way.

1. Last weekend at our hotel in Dallas, Jenna was at the other end of a long hall and spotted a cup. She promptly picked it up and drank out of it.

2. She has discovered how to open the refrigerator and likes to play with the carton of eggs.

3. She loves to remove every last VHS, DVD and CD from the entertainment center. Then as we clean that up, she unfolds any piece of folded laundry within her reach.

4. She likes to walk over to the trash can and look inside. If she sees something she likes she helps herself to it and eats it.

5. She loves to run back and forth between mom and dad giving each of us hugs.

6. As my friend Lynn put it so well, "Jenna is a one person party."

Julia Sandwiches

2006-07-28T05:16:00.000-06:00

Julia sandwiches are getting much harder to make as she gets older. I'm not even sure how they began, but they've become her favorite sandwich. A Julia sandwich consists of me picking her up and mommy and I hugging with her between us.

Another one of our favorites is bed time prayers. I really hope God likes a good laugh because these often end up in good laughs. Let's just say we get a little distracted. Like last night... All three of us bowed our heads and I closed my eyes to hear Deana pray "Dear God... are you cold?" To which Julia replied, "Mommy, what are you going to do? Fly up there and give him a blanket?"

Anyways, if you're in Baytown stop by our yard sale tomorrow morning and buy our junk, I mean our quality lightly used equipment.

2006-07-25T21:14:00.000-06:00

I'm currently shifting ministries. As I've been preparing to move to Little Rock I've spent a great deal of time reflecting, evaluating and praying. While I look back on 6 years of ministry (my one and only ministry position to this point) I've been considering Jesus' words about fruits and fig trees. I don't think it's a coincidence that I'm also being asked to develop small group material based on the fruits of the spirit as well. I've been working through Philip Kennison's Life on the Vine once again. As a result I'm saturated in images of vines, fruit, cultivation, growth and pruning. Several questions have emerged as I've engaged in reflection and planning during these past few weeks:
1. When all is said and done, what fruits have come from my life?
2. How can I continue to remain in him?
3. Does my life genuinely reflect what I profess?
4. In what ways am I being pruned to be more fruitful? Have I allowed God to do those things necessary to make me more fruitful?

2006-07-23T20:36:00.000-06:00

Saturday morning Jenna decided to wake up at 6 AM. So rather than wake up the rest of the family I moved Julia to our room in the suite we were staying and hung out with Jenna on the hide-a-bed. She fell asleep across my stomach like this around 8 AM. That girl can sleep in any position when she decides to sleep.

I tried to wake her about 20 minutes later because I needed to get up. She simply rolled over across my legs and stayed like this for about 10 minutes.

My cousin's wedding was great. We all had an amazing time. I have the coolest cousins. They rocked making Julia feel like she was one of them. It was so awesome to watch. The bride even took Julia along for a pedicure. Julia wore her over-sized flip flops until they came apart this morning.

2006-07-20T06:38:00.000-06:00

A lot has been going on this week. We've had VBS at MoSt since Sunday night, I've been boxing up a few things and working towards our move to Little Rock, and today we leave for Dallas to attend my cousin, Kimberly's, wedding.

Kimberly is 9 years younger than me and shares the same birthday as Julia. Growing up in Alaska, I never spent much time with my cousins. I have three on my dad's side of the family, and they're all girls. Kimberly's the oldest. I remember playing basketball with this dark haired freckled little girl. I also remember trips to Six Flags with her and Kelly (Chaney was too young at the time). I've also got a picture of her as a junior bridesmaid in my wedding 13 years ago. Now Julia is in her wedding. I'm getting old.

I'm looking forward to the weekend. My aunt and uncle are amazing people and I get to spend a little time with my cousins and grandmother, so I'm excited.

2006-07-17T04:57:00.000-06:00

I spent the last week in Abilene at Kadesh and it was a great experience as usual. Each year, Deana and I get to spend a week with a group of 10 recent high school graduates and we love it. This year was no exception as we explored the theme of freedom -- freedom from sin, dying to self, and surrendering to God. I love the week because we dive deeply into the word of God, allow it to transform lives and get real as we gain a better picture of our Lord.

Of course there are the random moments. During a time of blessing and affirmation one group member decides to inform us that he doesn't like the way the word ointment sounds. Since then I've been thinking of words I don't like. My list would include
propitiation
ignoramus

It's not the words themselves, but how they roll off the tongue.

Anyways, we have a busy week. Originally, I was supposed to go to Little Rock for 2 days today to find a place to live, but we did that. We're moving into a townhouse for 6 months or so. so, now I don't have to go which is a good thing since I've been home all of 10 days this whole summer. We leave Thursday afternoon to go to my cousin Kimberly's wedding. She gets married on Saturday. I'll also spend a little time with my grandmother, Imo, who was recently put under hospice's care.

Through all this, I see how good God is and how I'm growing in my trust and love for him. Now if I could just get that Scottish accent down as I yell "Sons of Scotland..."

2006-07-07T20:28:00.000-06:00

Some guy is suing Michael Jordan and his publicist for $832 million all because this man has been "mistaken" for Michael Jordan all the time and he's tired of it. If he wins, I think I'll sue Arnold Schwarzenneger because a bunch of 5 year olds once told me I look like him.

2006-07-05T07:28:00.000-06:00

I spent last weekend in Chalmette, LA with a group of people demucking a house. I must say it was rather eerie working there. 10 months later, most the town of Chalmette is uninhabitable. With the exception of a few FEMA trailers parked in front of homes the majority of the neighborhood I was in was vacated. 10 months later over half of the houses on the street we worked still had not been touched. I thought about how this must seem like too much to bear for some of these families. I thought about how a group of strangers could enter a home and throw away every personal belonging of that family. Occasionally we would come across a disintegrated photo album or marred pictured on a refrigerator that reminded us that we were standing on holy ground. We were basically entering the lives of these people and helping them make a new beginning. I think that might be exactly what Jesus has done for me.

2006-06-28T12:58:00.000-06:00

I'll be taking a break from blogging for the next 6 weeks because there's so much going on as I begin a transition for my family in the weeks ahead. I look forward to sharing some experiences from the summer as well as reflections of our ministry in Baytown and hopes in Little Rock. I'll resume blogging in August after we've made our transition.

2006-06-24T18:00:00.000-06:00

I haven't had much time to post lately. This is my busy time as a youth minister. I just returned from a week in Colorado with a small group of high school students and adults. We climbed a mountain and rappelled. I must confess that though I may have seemed calm and together on the rock I really thought I was going to wet my pants when I looked over the edge of the rock and was told to lean back. I was 165 ft off the ground!

2006-06-11T21:52:00.000-06:00

I've been thinking about food for a while. Eating is one of my favorite hobbies. I have a weakness for pizza. It's actually a lack of self-control. Deana says that my criteria for a good restaurant is quite low. For me, in order for it to be a good place it has to include "all you can eat." This makes sense if you know me well because I'm not good with big decisions. I have been known to change directions 3-4 times in order to make up my mind where to go to eat. You don't have to choose what to eat at a buffet. Just get one of everything (two or more of some things in my case.) Now the one thing you won't hear from me at a Golden Corral or Ryans is, "I think I'll go back for another plate of those steamed carrots." I'll go back for more steak or bourbon chicken, maybe even mashed potatoes, but never for more broccoli or carrots.

My favorite buffet place in the whole world is Loui's Backyard at South Padre Island, TX. It's a seafood buffet. If you love seafood, it's awesome.

2006-06-07T21:57:00.000-06:00

I thought I'd give you an update on my mom's move from last week. It was quite eventful to say the least. Here are just a few highlights from the move.

1. I got sick the day after I got there. By Tuesday, I had a fever of 101 (I would have been hot blooded if I had a fever of 103... enough of the bad YM humor) and I pretty bad cough and sore throat. Sore throat is now mostly gone, but the cough lingers.

2. Wednesday morning several people from mom's church family at Baker Heights were helping us load up the U-Haul. We finished around 10:30 AM and pulled her Buick LeSabre onto the trailer. When the man went to get out, he couldn't open the door more than 2 inches because the trailer wheel-well was in the way. After about 20 min, we figured out a way to roll up mom's windows, lock her car and get the key out. A teenager from her church with longer arms than mine was able to reach through the 2-inch crack in the door to get to the ignition. Well, this was a problem when I arrived in Brownfield at 2:30 PM. My arms weren't long enough to get the keys back in the ignition. After nearly 20 min of trying to come up with a way to get into the car, we decided to remove the wheel well. As we were looking for bolts, we found these two latches which just so happened to dwing the top of the wheel well down just low enough for a car door to swing open.... hmmmm..

3. At the end of the day and after enduring the stress of the move as well as about 2000 questions for three days I was taking the U-Haul to a local dealer in Brownfield. The U-Haul dealership consisted of a tiny dirt parking lot with a shack no bigger than a snow cone stand in it. I missed the turn and pulled into JC Septic and Backhoe Services. One problem. I couldn't turn around. The space was too small. SO, I pulled in front of JC Septic and Backhoe Service's office. As I did, I heard a loud crack and sound of rubble crashing down on top of the U-Haul. JC's Septic and Backhoe Services sign now reads "C's Sep and Backhoe". Apparantly the sign wasn't taller than the 11-ft clearance needed by the U-Haul. I found out the next day the bill for that one would be about $1100. Of course, I "didn't need U-Haul's insurance" which I was told would only cost $35 more.

4. By the end of the day, boxes were in the back bedroom, mom's bed was set up and furniture was in place. My aunt and uncle did a phenomenal job restoring the house! They are amazing people.

Anyways those were just a few of the events from the move.

2006-05-29T09:17:00.000-06:00

Our teens are at a 4-day retreat with another youth group at a camp facility called HEB which is located in the hill country on the Frio River. I really miss being there with those kids. There is a 15 ft cliff that the kids like to jump from into the swimming area. When you stand at the edge for the first time it seems so much higher than it really is. Even after watching 10 people jump before you decide to try it still seems so much higher that first time. You stand there psyching yourself up knowing you'll be ok because everyone else who jumped was ok. But there is still this uncertainty in your mind. Your heart races and the adrenaline flows as you prepare to make that first jump.

I feel a lot like that today because I'm not at HEB with the kids because I'm heading to Abilene today to pack mom's things and move her to another town. To make a long story short, mom moved to Abilene in 1998 and has been there since. Now, due to circumstances beyond her control, mom's sister and I are having to move mom into her mother's old house about 30 minutes from where my aunt lives. I've been praying that this is the right decision. It's definitely a difficult one. It's one where we're not totally sure how this might turn out in the end, but then again I'm not sure any of us know how things will turn out in anything. So, pray for me as I spend the week helping mom begin a new stage in her journey, and mine for that matter.

I'll write more next week when I get back.

2006-05-25T05:16:00.000-06:00

The school year is coming to an end for me today. I gave my only two finals yesterday and need to grade them today. Once I've done that and clean my classroom I'm officially done for the summer. But that doesn't mean I get a respite. I'm out of town from May 29-June 6 helping my mom move from one town to another and spending time with my family. I then have a busy summer youth program to run. Lots of trips and ministry projects are planned. I look forward to the summer, but it's going to be busy. So between spending much needed time with some of the teens I love and taking Julia swimming, the blogging will be sporadic.

I'm going to use much of the summer to read and listen to God, rather than write. It's time to be still and know...

2006-05-22T20:29:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was Senior Sunday. What I love about this day is that our church family has the opportunity to be a part in a threshold moment in the life of a student. It's one of our more significant reminders that we are a family. My favorite part is sharing a video of the students and watching as the church family signs the concordance of each senior. Whether a students has been part of our family for one year or 18, each senior receives a concordance from the church family.

I'm not sure how long this tradition has been taking place, but I like it because the concordance is more of a symbol. It represents the challenge for those moving on to take seriously the call to follow Christ. It's a symbol of discipleship.

One thing I wish I had done, which I think I will do for future graduates is ask them to respond to two basic questions:
1) Name 2-3 people who in our church family who have influenced you to become more like Christ, and
2) What aspects of our church life have been most formative in your spiritual growth?

2006-05-18T05:31:00.000-06:00

Lately I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with Scripture. As I've read Eat This Book I've developed a growing concern, for lack of a better word, between God's Word and my life. I've thought about all the reasons I've read my Bible. Here are just a few:
1. To earn stickers in Bible class (that was a few years ago)
2. To prepare for Bible Bowl
3. To participate in a Bible study
4. As part of a one-year reading project
5. To prove a point
6. To make decisions concerning issues that concerned me like homosexuality, women's role in the Church, instrumental music
7. To help me decide if certain actions were ok
8. To justify myself or refute someone else
9. To provide comfort in times of trouble
10. To prepare lessons and sermons
11. To write a paper for seminary
12. To pass a test
13. How to live better.

These are not the only reasons I've read Scripture. But as I consider all these reasons, maybe I've missed the point of Scripture over the years. In most cases mentioned above I come to these ancient words with an agenda -- mine. Against this backdrop, I am considering these words I recently read:

"Christians feed on Scriptures. Holy Scripture nurtures the holy community as food nurtures the human body. Chrsitians don't simply learn to study Scripture; we assimilate it, take it into our lives in such a way that it gets metabolized into acts of love, cups of cold water, missions into all the world, healing and evangelism and Justice in Jesus' name, hands raised in adoration of the father, feet washing in the company of the son...

We do not come to God by guesswork: God reveals himself. These scriptural words reveal the Word that created heaven and earth; they reveal the Word that became flesh in Jesus for our salvation. God's word is written, handed down, and translated for us so that we can enter the plot. We hold these Bibles in our hands and read them so we can listen and respond to these creating and saving words and get in, firsthand, on the creating and saving."

Peterson's words remind me of the Mercy Me song, Word of God Speak

Word of God speak
Would you pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see your majesty
To be still and know
That you're in this place
Let me stay and rest in your holiness
Word of God speak

2006-05-17T09:28:00.000-06:00

During these past few days I have known of two faithful Christians who have passed from this life to the next due to cancer in their bodies. Both were mothers and grandmothers. Both loved the Lord and their families. So, I thought of these families and the arrangements being made to say good bye.

While some call this a final moment, those of us who believe in the resurrected Christ know that this is only a transition into a glorious new future, one in which we are brand new, given new bodies and a new reality. This is the existence for which we were made. I also know we grieve no matter how expected a loss is. Yet we grieve and are comforted at the same time; for we are never alone in these moments. When we become swept up in God’s kingdom we become part of a community of faith, a family, in which we are brothers and sisters. We share our journeys with one another. Therefore, as you grieve, know that you have family who are right there with you.

So, I leave you with these words from a song that has taken on more meaning to me over the years. It's an expression of truth for those of us who belong to the family of God.

We believe that when the Lord
When He comes again
We’re going to a better place.

We believe in Christian brotherhood
We will make it understood
That it’s what we’re about.

2006-05-17T05:30:00.000-06:00

I haven't had much time to blog lately. The school year is ending and a lot is happening. I'm spending most my free time with my girls. I thought I'd share one quote with you from Eat This Book: a conversation in the art of spiritual reading.

"Liturgy is the means that the church uses to keep baptized Christians in living touch with the entire living holy community as it participates formationally in Holy Scripture...

The task of liturgy is to order the life of the holy community following the text of Holy Scripture. It consists of two movements. First it gets us into the sanctuary, the place of adoration and attention, listening and receiving and believing before God. There is a lot involved, all the parts of our lives are ordered to all aspects of the revelation of God in Jesus.

Then it gets us out of the sanctuary into the world into places of obeying and loving, ordering our lives as living sacrifices in the world to the glory of God. There is a lot involved, all the parts of our lives out on the street participating in the work of salvation."

We can't be fully alive if Scripture, liturgy and community aren't integral to our lives.

2006-05-12T05:19:00.000-06:00

How could anyone resist such a cute face? This is just one picture of Jenna Deana took the other day.

Deana is amazing while I'm often an insensitive clod. Last night she spent about an hour putting together a photo album of Jenna for Mother's Day for my mom. By the way, she did the same thing featuring Julia a few years ago. Deana even picked out the card. Today she's going to overnight it to mom. Who's Mother's Day idea was this you might ask? Well, it was hers. She's amazing!

This morning Julia woke up a little earlier than normal. She was lying on the couch as I was writing this entry. I turned around and asked her what she was doing to which her reply was, "I'm working on a script for my play I'm writing. It's really funny. I need a lot of babies attacking me."
On another note about Julia, she probably has read more books as a first grader than I did in all of my elementary years. She loves to read Nancy Drew books. She earned over 100 AR points this year and gets to go on an AR field trip.

Once again, another testimony of how amazing Deana is. Deana's influence on Julia is quite obvious. Thank the Lord for that. Happy Mother's Day a couple of days early to all you moms!

2006-05-10T07:57:00.000-06:00

Last night Julia, Jenna and I met Deana's parents at Fuddruckers and then I took Julia to a GAP outlet to get a few clothes. On the way home, which was about a 40-minute drive, we were singing together in the suburban. At first, this seemed so typical, but then I began thinking about what we were singing and how excited Julia was bobbing her head and shouting at the top of her lungs the following words

And I'll become even more unidignified than this. Some may say it's foolishness, but I'll become even more undignified than this...

We talked a litle bit about instrumental and acapella worship. We talked about what the song meant, and then she continued to sing with Dave Crowder in the CD player (I'm not cool enough to have an mp3 player in my car):

la, la, la, la, hey! with the song.

Jenna even got into the action clapping her hands and saying "hey!" at the right time in the song. It's ok to let go and have fun worshiping God. We were pretty wired when we got home. What a great ride home!

2006-05-08T05:41:00.000-06:00

When I met Deana she worked as a student journalist for the Optimist, our college newspaper. This meant that, unlike most students, she worked most nights, especially when she became managing editor. She would go to classes during the day and work many late nights putting together the paper. Consequently, if I wanted to spend time with her I would spend many late nights in the newsroom as she worked. I did what I had to in order to be with her all the time. We'd be up there some nights until 1 or 2 a.m. and then I'd have an 8 a.m. class the next morning. Some nights she'd come by my apartment at 1 a.m. on her way home just to say hi. We always wanted to be together.

I thought of those days as I read the following words this morning:

"Having found in many different books different methods of going to God, and diverse practices of the spiritual life, I thought this would serve rather to puzzle me than facilitate what I sought after, which was nothing but how to become wholly God's. This made me resolve to give the all for the all; so after having given myself wholly to God, that he might take away my sin, I renounced, for the love of him, everything that was not he, and I began to live as if there was none but he and I in the world." - Brother Lawrence

God bless us this week as we seek to give the all for the all.

2006-05-04T05:42:00.000-06:00

In Acts 23:11, we're told that the Lord appeared to Paul and said "Be encouraged, Paul. Just as you have told the people about me here in Jerusalem, you must preach the good news in Rome." Of course, Paul was in prison awaiting trial in Jerusalem on some false accusations. I wonder if Paul had a vision for how he would get to Rome. I wonder if he envisioned the path his life would take. This simple Scripture has raised some questions for me as I look towards Sunday. How did the Lord appear to Paul? How did Paul know he was supposed to go to Rome? Did he expect to go immediately to Rome? Did he see this as his very next assignment from God? We learn in the next few verses that Paul takes a 2-year detour in Ceasarea. I wonder how this impacted Paul? Did Paul have doubts? Did he question God? It seems that God seldomly ever works as we plan.

2006-05-03T16:20:00.000-06:00

Just in case you ever wonder if pets and owners look alike, check out winners from an I-look-like-my-dog contest.

2006-05-03T05:36:00.000-06:00

I was baptized at the age of 9. I remember my best friend, Tod, wanting to be baptized and that got me thinking. I didn't want to be left out. I didn't want to miss out on anything. I began thinking about what baptism was and came to the conclusion that baptism would help me when I did something wrong. Using church lingo, I had been taught that baptism meant my sins were forgiven. I also thought it would be cool to drink juice from that little plastic cup and break off a tiny piece of that Mattzo cracker.

So, one Sunday morning I went forward during the invitation song. After worship our church family drove 20 miles to the Church of Christ in town that had a baptistry and Ken Saner baptized me. That night I had my first piece of little cracker and sip of juice. Until that moment the only times I ever had the juice and crackers was when it was my turn to empty the trays. I always felt so guilty taking a bite of the cracker when we did that. It felt like I was eating the consecrated bread.

I have spent these past 25 years growing in my understanding of that moment. I have spent the rest of my life living out the reality of that moment. With this mind, here are some words about baptism from Eugene Peterson's Living the Resurrection:

"Because we do not baptize ourselves - it is always something done to us by God in the community - the resurrection life begins and can only begin as previous to us, beyond and other than us, so that we can, for the first time, enter into and become our true God-defined selves - selves in relationship with resurrection friends. It is always done with the assent, participation, and affirmation of a company of faithful men and women who are likewise defined by holy baprism. It is at once naming, repentance, death, resurrection, and following Jesus.

In holy baptism, our lives are defined by resurrection. We know and are known by knowing and being known by the living Jesus Christ. This is where we begin. It's a beginning that invites reenactment every day of our lives. Remember your baptism, for we cannot do anything on our own in this business."

2006-04-30T07:07:00.000-06:00

This morning in our teen Bible study we're in Acts 22-23. We're going to look at how God protected Paul and worked behind the scenes to bring about his purposes. Sometimes it's difficult for us to see God's hand in our lives, especially when things are difficult. But this passage reminds us that God's at work in our lives. My prayer is that this week, we can all see his hand in our lives and know he's working. May we all all strive to be part of his mission in this world this week.

2006-04-27T08:48:00.000-06:00

I feel so sorry for Spanky, our cat whom we've had since early 1994. For the longest time the poor guy ruled the house. Then came Julia. About the only thing that inconvenienced him was a drastic change in his schedule and the fact that he no longer received as much attention.

Then came Jenna which has been a very different story in his life. Unlike Julia, Jenna is fascinated by Spanky. She puts his cat food in his water so he never has fresh water. Her idea of petting him gently is to whack him on top of the head. This morning, she was following him through the house shouting "MEEOOOWW!" at the top of her lungs. The poor guy is probably packing his bags.

2006-04-23T21:12:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I was shopping in Sears at the San Jacinto Mall while Deana was at Baybrook Mall with her parents. I told her I had picked out two shirts and some pants. She, in turn, told her mom that she bet they were short sleeve button up shirts, one khaki the other green. Well, this is the green one. I have a khaki one as well. Yes, I'm predictable and Deana knows me too well. She laughed when I showed her the shirts.

One thing I've learned over the years in my marriage his how much more courageous I am with Deana by my side. She not only has expanded my wardrobe, but my vision of what God can do with us in his kingdom. When doubt creeps into my mind, she's right there removing it with reassurances. Now, if I could just get her fashion sense. I'm so thankful for her and her continued prodding and vision sharing with me. She makes it easier to face an uncertain world.

Deep theological discussions with a 7-year-old.

2006-04-21T08:31:00.000-06:00

Tonight, Julia and I are going to walk in Relay for Life. Here’s a conversation Julia and I had about it on Wednesday.

Me: Julia, do you want to go to Relay for Life with me.
Julia: Sure, who are we walking for? (Usually, you walk in memory of someone who died of cancer)
Me: Well, we could walk for Grace and Belinda’s mom.
Julia: OK… Has anyone in our family died of cancer?
Me: Yes, I think mommy’s Peepaw did before I ever even met mommy.
Julia: Oh… how did Great Pa Pa die?
Me: Well, he got sick. His heart got tired. Some people’s hearts get so tired when they get very old that their heart just stops working. I think that may have happened.
Julia: Could he have gotten better?
Me: I’m not sure. His wife died a few years before, he was 88 years-old and he was ready to go be with God.
Julia: I’m only 6-years-old (She’s actually 7, so we laughed about this) and I get tired of the sin in this world.

Not that she wants to end her life, but we would talk about how sometimes God shows us grace when we get old by taking us home to be with God. She actually seemed to somewhat understand. I'm not sure thoughts like those crossed my mind until I was in my 20s.

Thomas Merton and jogging

2006-04-20T18:51:00.000-06:00

Today, I did two things I haven't had a chance to do much of lately.. And both proved rather difficult. I read a little Thomas Merton and ran my 5 miles. I've gone from being able to run 10 miles no problem to feeling like I'm gonna die after running 5 miles. All this in only 3 months. In January, I was running nearly 40 miles per week. Until last week, since January I may have run once a week. It's amazing how quickly it all goes away. Not meaning to boast (because there are many others much faster than myself) but I could run 10 miles at about an 8:40 mile pace in January. Today, I barely survived 5 at a 9:40 pace. I was light headed and completely exhausted when I finished today. When I'm running a lot and am in better shape, my stride is more efficient, my gate is longer and I run with less effort. When I run only occasionally, it takes longer for me to settle into a rhythm and I work harder and waste more energy.

Thomas Merton was difficult because he reminds me of my need to be more attentive in my listening to God. It's kind of like running. Though I do spend time praying asking God to show me things, interceding for others and reading Scripture Merton reminds me that I don't always listen as I should because right now it seems harder than it should. Here's what he says: "The right use of effort is determined by the indications of God'w will and grace. When one is simply obeying God, a little effort goes a long way." See, it's just like running. If I run correctly, a little effort goes a long way. But to run correctly, I must run often. Same is true in my prayer life. To listen well I must listen often. So, this morning I did something I hadn't done in a while. Rather than ask God for anything, I simply sat and said "Speak," and then I remained quiet. Oh was it difficult I tell you. My mind wanted to pray for others, my heart wanted to speak, but I didn't.

So, today was difficult. Just like I can't simply pick up where I left off three months ago running 10 miles, I can't simply pick up where I left off when it comes to being absolutely still before the Lord. But both are critical to my well being. I look forward to getting back into shape.

2006-04-19T21:27:00.000-06:00

This is what living with me does to my kids. But aren't they cute!

Now, some would say that from this angle, Jenna is the spitting image of her daddy! I think she has more hope of filling in the gaps on her head than I do.

2006-04-19T20:38:00.000-06:00

Lesson 4: Marriage has taught me how to pray

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts; see if there is anything offensive in me, and lead me in the everlasting way” – David

For some reason, one of the most difficult adjustments in my marriage has been my prayer life with Deana. It’s always been awkward. I feel as I am Ben Stiller’s character in Meet the Parents when he’s asked to pray and doesn’t really know how. It has gone up and down over the years, but in general it is more difficult for me to pray with Deana than with just about anyone else. As we have struggled with this I think I am beginning to understand why this is so. I hope this makes sense.

When I pray with others, no matter who it is, there is instantly some emotional distance. It doesn’t matter if it’s a close friend, and elder, on of my other ministers, a parent or student. I’m not as intimate in those relationships as I am with Deana. There is a sense of otherness there. On the surface that may seem like it would hinder my ability to pray, but it actually makes it safer. I can word prayers eloquently, I can pray fervently, I can pray when I’m dealing with things I don’t want others to know and they’ll never know. This isn’t to say my prayers aren’t genuine; it’s to say that there’s a mask there to some degree.

However, when I pray with Deana, it doesn’t matter how passionate my prayer is, how wordy it is, or what I do externally because she can instantly push past those things to the heart of it. I guess this means that there can be absolutely no pretense when we pray together. She knows me better than anyone. She can look at me for 5 seconds and know exactly how I’m doing and what I’m thinking. I think that this makes it uncomfortable to pray at times because no matter what, I’m much more vulnerable. Really, my only choice is to be honest.

This, in turn, has better helped me understand my relationship with God. When it comes to me and God, I can’t sugarcoat my life. I can’t dress it up. I can’t hide what’s going on by using the right words. When I go to my room alone I have come to realize God knows more about me than I do about myself, and then it becomes awkward.

However, the more I pray with Deana, the more comfortable I am with the fact that nothing is hidden. Through my years of marriage this is helped me come to terms with the reality that the same is true with the Lord. As I’ve become more comfortable with this it has changed the way I pray. On one hand I realize, like Isaiah, that I’m a person of unclean lips who lives among a people of unclean lips. At the same time, I’m free to be completely honest about who I am. What’s great about this, I can do the same with Deana.

2006-04-18T09:05:00.000-06:00

Lesson 3: My life is not my own to do whatever I want

Summer of 1994 was the last summer I lived in Alaska. Deana and I had been married less than a year at that point. We arrived in Kenai in May and I began working as an environmental assessment intern for UNOCAL. During the months of June and July when the fish are moving into the Kenai River I would spend as much spare time fishing. I basically would work, sleep and fish. Many nights I would get off work at 5 p.m., go home grab a quick bite to eat and hit the river. Deana spent a lot of time with my mom while I spent a lot of time on the river.
Lion King was released in the theaters that summer and Deana really wanted to see it. The only problem was that it was playing in our local theater during the time the salmon run was at its peak. Needless to say, she saw Lion King while I caught fish. She did go fishing with me often. In fact I have video of her, Matt Kimball and I on the Russian River one night. She also outfished me on her birthday when a group of us from church went fishing one Sunday night after worship.

What I’ve learned over the years in my marriage is that the more focused I am on my wants and desires the less available I am to Deana and I really miss out when that happens. When I become too concentrated on my agenda I miss out on the relationship, the time together, and conversations that bring true intimacy to our relationship. When I become too caught up in myself I fail to truly connect in a way that makes Deana feel valued and cherished. In fact, I’ve learned that when I get too busy doing “my thing” a gap is opened between me and Deana. If I’m not careful we become more like roommates than husband and wife. The friendship suffers, intimacy is lost. This may seem like such a simple lesson, but it’s been profound in my life. In our marriage probably the biggest key to intimacy is availability. By that, I mean being available to really connect with one another. This can’t happen if I’m not around. So, I’m careful to try to give us time together though I know it’s still often not enough.

Paul tells us that our lives are not our own. We were bought with a price; therefore we are to honor God with our bodies. I think my marriage teaches me this principle. Since Deana and I are one I cannot do whatever I want without regard for her. The same is true with God. Learning to honor Deana by considering her before my desires teaches me to honor God with my life as well.

2006-04-16T21:24:00.000-06:00

Lesson 2: R-E-S-P-E-C-T

On New Year’s Eve of 1995, Deana was working late at the Bryan/College Station Eagle. She had asked me to pick her up at midnight because she would be done by then. Well, I had been to a New Year’s Eve party hosted by some friends in our young marrieds Bible class and had lost track of time. I neglected to tell Deana I would be at that party and we didn’t have cell phones either. I showed up 30 minutes late and she was worried that I had been killed by a drunk driver. At the time I didn’t think it was such a big deal… Let’s say I now know better.

When we first married I thought I understood Deana. I mean, I knew going in she squeezed the toothpaste tube from the middle while I did from the bottom. I knew she liked the arts while I loved sports. She hated math and I hated to read. I knew these things, so I thought I understood her… and respected her. But over time, I began to realize I didn’t show her the respect she deserved. As I was learning to be funny, some of my attempts at humor would come at her expense. As I was learning to be available to students in ministry I would often make my home available without checking with her. As I was learning to juggle a schedule I would often make plans without first checking with her. I never tried to understand. Honestly, I never really even considered her because I thought I was just doing my work.

But as I learned to listen to my bride and really discern what was on her heart I began to see that though I thought I respected her, in practice I didn’t. She deserved better than what I was giving her. She deserved for me to consider her before myself. She deserves for me to put her before ministry. In fact, she deserves to partner with me in ministry to our family, both our biological and spiritual. I may be the spiritual leader, but the best leaders always include others, in fact they raise up leaders. As I began to listen to Deana better, to more clearly understand her, my respect for her has grown and my love for her has deepened. I now say with the greatest humility I can muster, I married way better than I deserved. God has indeed been gracious to me.

Consider these words from Gary Thomas’ Sacred Marriage:

“I had to work to better understand [my wife] before I could truly respect her, and I had to respect her before I could fully love her. This is a tremendously therapeutic process, an emptying of myself so I can grow more in my love for others… When I learn to give respect I become transformed in the process.”

“Giving respect to others brings light and life into our lives. It leads us in the end to respect the God who created all of us and shapes us as he sees fit. It is an essential discipline, and marriage provides us daily opportunities to grow in this area.”

If I can’t learn to truly respect those closest to me, how can I truly learn to respect the Lord? In order to truly respect and love others, I must begin with the one that’s most dear to me.

2006-04-15T06:14:00.000-06:00

This day must have seemed hopeless to those who followed Jesus. It must have felt as if all their dreams had been shattered. Their hopes now gone with the dead "Messiah." They had thought Jesus was really the One. There had been imposters in the past. Others had claimed to be the deliverer. But this man was different. He did things no other could. But, in the end he suffered a similar fate.

It must have been hard for the followers. They had given over three years of their lives to following this man. Many left jobs and loved ones behind. Some risked rejection from family, others death. They put everything into this man. They truly believed. On this day a little over 2000 years ago what were they thinking? Do they return to their homes and resume their lives? Could they? Do they dare consider believing in another? This one really let them down. They surely were dazed an confused.

Maybe this day is for those today who are hurting, who can't see a way out. The pain is too much right now. Maybe you feel the "sting of death" as Paul puts it. Sometimes, even for those of us who follow Christ, we go through moments that seem so dark. We can't find our way out. Sometimes we feel as if He has let us down. We wonder what happened. We prayed and fasted. We sought the counsel of others. We did everything we could. Yet, nothing worked. If you've ever been there you know the pain the disciples felt on this day.

To fail to recognize that at times we feel disappointment, hurt and anger because we feel the Lord has failed us is to miss part of the story. We don't like to acknowledge we feel this from time to time. It seems a bit heretical. But to not do so would be to fail to be real. Part of the story lies in the fact that God is at work even when we can't see it. On this day, God still had a plan two thousand years ago. On this day, God was doing something. On this day there was still hope, the followers just didn't know it. So on this day, we acknowledge we hurt. We acknowledge that all is not always right. Here are some words to one of my favorite Third Day songs

To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye
And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith in love
They've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you're not alone in your shame
And your suffering

When your lonely
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

To the widow who struggles with being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight

2006-04-14T06:05:00.000-06:00

During the next week or so, I'll share some things I've learned from my marriage. I tend to agree with Gary Thomas in his book Sacred Marriage. Marriage is't designed to make me happy. It's to make me holy. In other words, my 12 years of marriage has led me towards God.

Lesson 1: Learning to love

When Deana was pregnant with Julia we were living in Abilene. I was in my first semester of graduate school for Bible at ACU while trying to finish up my master's at Texas A&M. As soon as I finished class on Thursday in Abilene I would head to College Station to do my research at TAMU. It wasn't much fun, but I thought I could finish by December if I worked hard. Well, Deana's body didn't like pregnancy. She had morning sickness, mid-morning sickness, lunch sickness, mid-afternoon sickness, evening sickness, late night sickness. She would be so sick she actually lost weight during her first trimester. The doctor insisted she would stop this after about 17 weeks. She didn't. It affected her job at ACU. She used up all her sick leave within a few months.

Deana would get so sick and dehydrated we would find ourselves in the emergency room while doctors stuck her with needle trying to find a shriveled vein to give her the fluids she needed to feel better. It never failed. Nearly every time I left town on Thursdy, within 24 hrs I would receive a call from Brenda telling me she was taking Deana to the hospital. I would quickly pack my things back up, shut down my research and head home. Needless to say, I didn't finish the work at A&M.

When I first got married I thought I loved my wife. Truth is that was more hormones than anything. I liked my wife a lot. I was infatuated with this hot blonde with really nice legs. There were things she had already taught me about myself even before she came down that aisle. As she walked down that aisle on Aug. 14, 1993 I knew it was right, but I didn't love her... yet. What my marriage has taught me over the years is how to love not just Deana, but others as well. In my marriage, God gave me the choice to pick who I would love and to spend the rest of my life learning how to love her... and love him. Through Deana's difficult pregnancy and having to put my goals on hold, I learned to serve my wife and carry for her needs. I learned how to try to make her happy. We both still talk about how God used Julia's pregnancy to draw us closer to each other.

Now, I can't bear to see Deana in pain. One of the worst experiences for me is to watch her get poked with a needle because of how difficult it was when she was pregnant and sick. I can't bear to watch when Deana suffers. I'm super-excited when something good happens to her. I get angry when people write letters to the editor criticizing something she has written. I won't tolerate people showing her disrespect. This is my bride, one whom I love and have given my life to loving.

Here are some words from Sacred Marriage:

"It is far less of a leap for a man to love a woman or for a woman to love a man than it is for either of us to love God. "

"But I think it is more than that. I think marriage is designed to call us out of ourselves and to learn to love the 'different.' Put together in the closest situation imaginable -- living side by side, sleeping in the same room, even, on occasion, sharing our bodies with each other -- we are forced to respect and appreciate someone who is radically different."

"We need to be called out of ourselves because, in truth, we are incomplete. God made us to find our fulfillment in him - the Totally Other. Marriage shows us that we are not all there is; it calls us to give way to another, but also to find joy, happiness, and even ecstacy in another."

2006-04-13T05:19:00.000-06:00

I don't know what it is, but for the past month I have been getting up earlier than usual. For most of the school year, I'd wake up around 6 AM, but lately it's more like 5:00 - 5:30 a.m. What I'm beginning to come to terms with through these past few weeks is that this might be from God because it has been in these extended mornings of solitude that I have been learning more about myself, my bride, my God and have begin to really connect with God in ways that I haven't in a long time. I've been in Scripture and prayer more. I've also been able to read more books from writers who encourage me to live like Christ. The past 4 mornings I have revisited Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. Here are some selections from this book that I have been considering this morning.

"The real transforming work of marriage is the twenty-four-hours-a-day, seven-days-a-week commitment. This is the crucible that grinds and shapes us into the character of Jesus Christ. Instead of getting up at 3:00 a.m. to begin prayer in a monastary, the question becomes 'Who will wake up when the baby's diaper needs changing?' Marriage calls us to an entirely new and selfless life... Any situation that calls me to confront my selfishness has enormous spiritual value, and I began to slowly understand that the real purpose of marriage may not be happiness as mush as it is holiness."

It doesn't take a mountain-top moment, intense worship or a moving sermon to be transformed spiritually. In fact, I think we will find that we are changed more profoundly by the daily grind. It's within the context of the natural rhythms of our lives that we are shaped, especially in our marriages. Our marriages provide the context for the greatest potential for spiritual growth because it is in this sacred relationship where we learn to truly love, honor and respect another. It's in a marriage where our patience, humility, kindness, gentleness, self-control, and faithfulness are forged.

"To spiritually benefit from marriage, we have to be honest. We have to look at our disappointments, own up to our ugly attitudes, and confront our selfishness. We also have to rid ourselves of the notion that the difficulties of marriage can be overcome if we simply pray harder or learn a few simple principles."

"What if God didn't design marriage to be 'easier?' What if God had an end in mind that went beyond our happiness, our comfort, and our desire to be infatuated and happy as if the world were a perfect place?"

It's in the context of my marriage I'm learning most profoundly that my life really isn't about me. I'm not on center stage' my bride isn't on center stage; my children aren't on center stage. God is. My marriage reminds me daily that ultimate fulfillment in my life can only come from the Lord. To expect my bride to make me whole or bring ultimate fulfillment is asking too much. The same is true of my bride. If she looks to me for every need, she'll be let down by me. Consider these words

"The marriage relationship creates the opportunity for us to be reminded of our need for God when we become disillusioned by the inability to receive all the love we need and desire from fellow humans, This inescapable disillusionment can lead to the anguish of serial marriages. Instead of realizing that our true needs can be ultimately met only in and by God, some people keep trying to find their fulfillment in new realtionships thinking what they really need to find is the 'right' person when, when translated, usually means a new person. Christianity does not direct us to focus on finding the right person; it calls us to become the right person."

Rather than look to the right person, may all of us strive to become the right person.

2006-04-12T14:27:00.000-06:00

This morning in my quiet time I came upon Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 6:18-20:

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body.”

I’m still coming to terms with this text. The body is inherently good because God made it. It seems then that pleasures are good as well since God gave us taste buds, sexuality, and other things that bring pleasure. Yet, for much of my life I was taught to deny myself many of those pleasures. Some were seen as bad. It’s not the physical stuff (body, pleasures, etc) that is bad. These are indeed good because God made them. If all God’s created order is made to bring him glory, then I must learn how to direct my life in its totality toward him. This makes me think of the following words from Lauren Winner’s book Real Sex:

“Bodies are central to the Christian story. Creation inaugurates that bodies are good, but the consequences of the fall are written on our bodies – our bodies will sweat as we labor in the fields, our bodies will hurt as we bear children, and, most centrally, our bodies will die. If the fall is written on the body, salvation happens in the body too. The kingdom of God is transmitted through Jesus’ body and is sustained in Christ’s body, the church. Through bodily suffering of Christ on the cross and the bodily resurrection of Christ from the dead, we are saved. Bodies are not mirrors in which we see consequences of the fall; they are also, in one theologian’s phrase ‘where God has chosen to find us in our fallenness.’ Bodies are who we are and where we live; they are not just things God created us with, but means of knowing him and abiding with him.”

I’m not sure that what I’m writing communicates clearly what I’m thinking. Suffice it so say I want to live life abundantly in this body, in this time, and in this place. I want my life to be exactly as God would have it to be – pointing others to him and the joys and pleasures that come from such a life.

2006-04-10T14:06:00.000-06:00

“In God’s eyes the most significant is often the most hidden.” – Henri Nouwen

Saturday afternoon I spent a couple of hours assisting some local athletes. Many needed help with their bibs. Some needed a person to lead them to the starting line. All of them needed us to cheer them as they ran, jumped or threw the shot. Whether they were first place or last in their event they all had smiles on their faces. They all were delighted to be there. They relished the spotlight. For many, they are most likely ignored by their peers. Many might look right past them in their lunch rooms. Some might make fun of them for their disabilities. Others sometimes push right past them as if they didn’t matter. On this day, everyone in the stadium was in their corner. Everyone was their fan. What a great day!

Though I was only there for 2 hours and my part in the day was small, I left a different person. The few Olympians I got to help affected me. Their smiles and laughter helped me to see how good God’s creation is in spite of our brokenness. In fact, I might say that it is this brokenness that makes his creation so beautiful. So, I must say I had a great afternoon for a couple of hours Saturday thanks to a group of gifted athletes. These are most definitely the Special Olympics.

2006-04-07T08:04:00.000-06:00

"It's not about you; it's not about me; it's not even about them; it's all about him." - Todd Brown

“Do something for somebody every day for which you do not get paid.” Albert Schweitzer

"Life's most urgent question is: What are you doing for others?" Martin Luther King, Jr.

"To do more for the world than the world does for you - that is success." Henry Ford

Sometimes it seems as if I'm talking to a blank wall. Sometimes it seems as if nothing is getting through. Sometimes it seems as if what I do doesn't matter or make a difference. But what I've been convicted of is what a self-centered view that is. I don't serve others or minister to others to see the fruits. Truth is, that's not my responsibility to bring about fruit. It really isn't about me at all, but I sure like to make it about me.

I consider Moses. He guided the Israelites for 40 years. It was Moses who interceded for the people every single day. It was Moses who labored selflessly. I wonder if he was ever frustrated. I wonder if he wanted to throw in the towel and just end it all. He worked so hard. He gave up his life for this people, and yet he was not the one to take the people into the Promise Land.

In the midst of some struggles and personal questions I read the following this morning:

"So don't get tired of doing what is good. Don't get discouraged and give up for we will reap a harvest of blessings at the appropriate time. Whenever we have the opportunity we should do good to everyone, especially to our Christian brothers and sisters."

2006-04-04T04:36:00.000-06:00

What a great day yesterday was for sports fan. Baseball season began and what a success it was last night. Roy Oswalt pitched a 5 hit shut out and the Astros beat the Marlins 1-0. Can Oswalt have his third consecutive 20 game winning season?

---------------------------------------------

Have you ever felt helpless? Maybe you were stuck on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere without a cell phone. Maybe you locked yourself out of your house and had no way of getting in or any place to go because your car keys were in the house. In those moments all you can do sit and do the unthinkable... wait. You thought of everything you possibly could do, and tried it, but it didn't work. So, you finally resign to the fact that you have got to wait for help to come by.

I'm thinking of people I love who I want so desperately to help, but feel so powerless to do so. I think of people I know and love who are feeling this way right now. They're hurting because they feel as if they are at the end of their rope. As I prayed for these people and considered their lives (and mine for that matter) I remembered Paul's words in the opening chapters of 2 Corinthians. I consider Paul's words "these things happened that we might rely on God."

So, what does it look like to rely on God in these moments? What does it feel like in your heart? How do you know that you're relying on him during these times when you pace back and forth waiting knowing there is nothing else to do? What do you do when you find yourself in one of those moments? How do you respond when you've done everything you can do and nothing seems to work?

2006-04-03T09:57:00.000-06:00

UCLA and Florida play tonight. My brackets were obliterated. UCLA I could envision. However, I didn't expect them to do what they did to LSU. Florida I never would have guessed. That is March Madness in April. Duke is still the team though. Gotta love Coach K. They have produced more national players of the year than any time. Says a lot about Coach K.

2006-03-31T12:55:00.000-07:00

Friday I heard a knock at the church office door. Tony had come by to give $20 "for the lights." He had a big smile on his face and said "tell the pastor that it's from a friend who lives near by." I only knew his name because Kathy heard me talking to him. From appearances it doesn't look like Tony has much money or could a job. But apparently he'll knock on our doors from time to time and give $20 because we open our building to the Neighborhood Watch group that means each quarter in our annex.

When I returned to my desk the words of the song below came to mind as well as the blog of a friend, Jim Clark, director of Christian Service Center in Abilene. It seems to me that the more we realize what the Lord has done for us, the more we want to live our lives for him. The greater the sense of grace, the greater our sense of gratitude. I guess it's a lot like the movie Pay it Forward. Maybe that describes Tony. I sometimes wonder if it describes me.

Let the weak say I am strong.
Let the poor say I am rich.
Let the blind say I can see.
It's what the Lord has done for me.

Into the river I will wade
Where my sins are washed away
From the heaven's mercy seat
Of the savior's love for me.

I will rise from waters deep.
Into the saving arms of Christ
I will sing salvation songs.
Jesus Christ has died for me.

Hosanna, hosanna to the lamb that was slain
Hosanna, hosanna Jesus died and rose again

2006-03-31T05:33:00.000-07:00

Last night when I walked into the living room Jenna was sitting on our couch looking at my Bible. She looked up and said "Daddy's Bible." So I just had to take a picture and put it on here. She spent 10 minutes turning its pages saying "Bible." We'll start working on her Koine Greek next week. Here are just a couple of other interesting words Jenna has picked up -- "sausages" (it sounds so cute coming from such a little girl's voice) and "oh Baby."

And of course I'd be remiss not to include pictures of my amazing Julia who is hard at work on her homework unlike her daddy who should have been grading papers.

I'll leave you with a profound thought I was reminded of by Beverly the other day. Whenever you find yourself in a mess that seems impossible just let these words be your inspiration. "What am I doing in Mexico?"

2006-03-30T04:27:00.000-07:00

It's amazing what's not on TV at 4:00 AM. I don't get cable so that doesn't help any. Out of the 10 or so stations my rabbit ears pick up, 6 are doing infomercials for Ginsu Knives or the Body by Jake Ab Rocker. I guess they figure you'll be so out of t you might actually think it's a good idea to buy one of these products.

Since I'm bored and can't sleep I thought I'd list some of my favorite (worst) infomercial products I've seen on TV.
Miracle Anti-Fungal treatment. I don't really want to know the marketing research that went into the development of the infomercial for this product, but it does stop the spread of fungal growth.

Waistband Pant Skirt E-Z Stretcher. I guess this might come in handy after a big meal such as at Thanksgiving.

Laser Light Hair Brush. Just think guys, you can have this for only $189.99. Look closely at the before/after. What a difference! I've got to have this one.

Body Thigh Reduction Cream. The testimonies are riveting. The message is powerful. But do they have to keep on insisting that this product "really works?"

2006-03-29T10:37:00.000-07:00

“We can only learn to know ourselves and do what we can, namely surrender our will and do God’s will in us.” – St. Teresa of Avila

“I just want to do God’s will. And he’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over, and I’ve seen the Promised Land.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Having chosen our course, and without guile and with pure purpose, let us renew our trust in God, and go forward without fear and with manly hearts.” – Abraham Lincoln

“A man plans his direction, but God orders his steps.”

Sometimes what’s next isn’t always as clear as I want it to be. I just want to do exactly what God would have me do, but I can’t always figure out what that might be. Sometimes I’m trying what I think God wants me to do, but it just doesn’t work. It’s as if I’m in a room in which absolutely no light penetrates and I’m looking for the light switch. I take baby steps waving my arms in front of me feeling my way to the light switch only to stub my toe on a chair.

In these moments I think I can relate to Paul. He wanted to go to Bithynia. He wanted to preach in Asia. He had plans. He wanted to do good things, but it just didn’t work out for him. Maybe he got sick. Maybe there was too much road construction. I’m not sure how he responded to these moments, but I like to imagine Paul growing frustrated. I like to envision him with restless thoughts. I see him spending much time in prayer and maybe even talking with those he trusted. Maybe he questioned himself. Maybe he wondered what to do.

I like to picture him this way because I tend to get frustrated, almost angry when I can’t seem to figure out what’s next. I tend to wrestle with my thoughts when things don’t work or go as I had hoped. In all this, I do know that God did show Paul what to do next for any time Paul does something we are told that the Spirit compelled him or led him into all he did. So, the question is how do I learn to be receptive to the Spirit’s leading in my own life, and only do those things God is leading me to do? I wish it were easier than it is.

2006-03-27T05:46:00.000-07:00

Saturday I came home from a CPR/First-Aid class to a house filled with five 4-7 year-old girls. Julia had decided she wanted to throw a party in honor of the bald eagle being removed from the endangered species list. This happened several years ago, but I didn't have the heart to tell her. (Deana refers to this event in her blog as well.) While having her party, the girls decided to begin a recycling program so they began looking for things to recycle. This included digging through the trash. I'm not sure you could ever convince Julia she could not make a difference.

Check. Call. Care. Three words I heard at least a dozen times during my training Saturday. What a great concept for spiritual care. Last night there were 19 people in my home. We simply shared songs that had significant meaning to us. But as we did, I believe some spiritual care took place because some songs had meaning for people right now. As they shared, we were able to offer words and prayers for them and sing together. We took time to check on each other. Others were already there ready to be called upon to help provide care for one another.

2006-03-24T05:40:00.000-07:00

I guess Jenna was hungry last night and got tired of waiting on us to feed her. We found her in the kitchen with this box of Scooters eating them right out of the box. You could say she takes after her daddy.

2006-03-21T13:00:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I was asked to describe a time when something didn't go as I had planned. I shared a few non-specific things. After the conversation I realized I had failed to share one of the more memorable times that things didn't go as well as planned. Some of you reading this will remember this all too well.

The spring of 2002 I worked with a group of people to plan a family retreat. I had secured the location 5 months before the retreat. In May I pulled up to the camp facilitity and was horrified. Cabins were locked up and about a 1/2 inch of tree pollen blanketed everything. Apparently, the one who books groups had forgotten to tel l the camp manager who maintained the facilities that we were coming. They hadn't had a group at the facility in nearly two months at that point. Instead of unpacking, we had to hose down, sweep, wipe, mop, and clean all the cabins and restrooms we were going to use.

2006-03-19T20:04:00.000-07:00

I grew up spending a lot of time climbing mountains. Jerry and I always wanted to know what was on the other side of the next peak. We'd hike to got to the grandest vista we could find. I never was disappointed.

I tend to view my walk with God similarly. It's as if I'm on this hike. Sometimes the climb is smooth and flat. The progress is obvious as I gently make my way to the summit. The slope is gradual, the view open. I see God's hand in so many things in these moments. I see my own spiritual growth.

Other times it's as if I'm struggling up rocky slopes. Using my hands and feet I climb straight up. Though difficult, I see the progress. These are the times I'm in deep study over those things that I have serious questions. These are the times I seem to be climbing my way through theological questions. These are the times coaches such as professors, friends and other ministers have truly helped me.

Still other times the journey is as if I'm winding through thick brush back and forth. It's as if I'm hacking away at alders. Unable to see more than just a few feet in front of me. These moments are intense struggles on the hike. Like thistles and alders scratching and tearing my clothes my struggles with sin and other difficulties make the journey difficult. Yet, just like reaching the alpin requires going through the forest, making my spiritual journey thus far has required moments in my life that seemed dark and hard. Dealing with sin, a divorce, loss of a sister and other events have had a profound impact on my journey.

Finally, there are those moments on the climb where you pause to catch a glimpse of the view. Like a flat rock overlooking a lake or the ocean these moments are times when I can pause and see the bigger picture. They also make me long for a grander view. While climbing a mountain these moments are just a small taste of what lies ahead. The same is true of my spiritual journey. From the godliness of brothers and sisters in Christ, to the gratitude of helping someone in poverty I have caught glimpses of the bigger picture. From personal, intense moments of prayer to worship with other believers I've come to long for more than what I've experienced even to this point.

I'm not there yet. I've got so much to learn. So much further to go. I doubt I'll ever make the summit, for I see that as the glorious day of the return. But I journey onward and upward. Enjoying the vistas from time to time, recognizing the struggles are part of it and growing in my thankfulness for my fellow hikers.

May the Lord bless us as we strive to continue the climb.

2006-03-15T08:34:00.000-07:00

What a difference 24 hours makes! Monday at 4:30 PM I'm on a snow machine travelling across a frozen lake at 80 mph. Tuesday afternoon at 4:30 I'm standing next to a fountain at Kemah Boardwalk watching my daughters play in the water.

2006-03-09T09:23:00.000-07:00

When I leave Houston this afternoon the temperature will be somewhere around 80 degrees. When I step outside of the Anchorage airport around midnight, it will be closer to 10 degrees. What a change!!!

Just some random thoughts about the next few days:
Sharon's memorial service is Saturday at 11:00 AM.
I haven't decided what I might say.
It'll be a different feeling to be in her home for the fist time and she not be there.
I look forward to spending some time with Tod and others.
I wish Deana could be with me. I hate being away from my family.
I'll miss the teens on Sunday.
God is most definitely good all the time.

Enjoy any time off you may have for those who actually get a spring break.

Aha!

2006-03-08T09:03:00.000-07:00

You ever have one of those "aha" moments? These are those moments in which a light bulb was turned on. It's as if you had been in the dark all along and suddenly see the light. Here are just a few of those moments in my life.

1) I actually like broccoli.
2) I'd rather read a good book than watch TV
3) I prefer the calm silence in my car over a blaring stereo
4) I understand chemistry. I remember the day this happened. I was sitting in Dr. Reeves' chemistry class and suddenly a light went on. It's been pretty easy for me ever since.
5) I miss my best friend from Alaska. It wasn't until I spent some days with him for the first time in 11 years that I realized what kind of friendship we have had over the years.
6) My wife is absolutely amazing. The first time I truly realized this it made my legs weak. She doesn't even know. I took her for granted for too many years until we moved to Baytown and I watched as she knew exactly what to say and what to do in so many moments with so many different girls in our ministry over the years.

I guess the point is that things change in our lives. We get older, our bodies change, our minds mature, we grow spiritually, relationships evolve. Much of the time we seem to be unaware of those changes until it becomes apparent in a specific moment. It's as if the cumulation of all those small changes becomes evident in one moment.

A Fake

2006-03-07T14:40:00.000-07:00

“I just don’t get it. One minute we’re best friends, the next I’m being told I’m fake!” – a student

Students will tell you that being “a fake” is saying one thing but acting another. Though this may be true, a student is often labeled a fake for the slightest of mistakes. Maybe out of anger, words were said that shouldn’t have been. Maybe on a weekend another student gave in to a temptation she swore she never would. Instantly, the person is labeled “a fake.”

Someone trying to make changes in his/her life is seen as fake when that person messes up. Why is that? We are an impatient people, I think. Maybe it’s our pride. Maybe it’s what we do to make ourselves feel better about our own shortcomings. Maybe, it's a defense mechanism. When someone hurts us our immediate response is to hurt that person back and it's an easy target to point out the inconsistencies in that person.

What if, rather than rushing to judge the actions of another, we give the benefit of the doubt that someone is doing the best he/she can and realize that all of us make mistakes? What if, rather than call each other “a fake” we encourage each other to do the best we can?

Consider these words:
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you have against one another.” – Colossians 3:13

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” – Ephesians 4:2-3

May the Lord bless us as we strive to love others just as our Lord loves us.

2006-03-03T09:47:00.000-07:00

It sounds crazy I know. I already have a busy summer schedule with student trips virtually every other week during the months of June and July, but I can't shake it. Maybe it's from God, maybe it's just me... I don't know, but I can't get out of my heart the devastation so many people still face from Hurricanes katrina and Rita. Much is still needed. Louisiana, Mississippi and other states effected by these hurricanes still need the help of the country. They can't rebuild on their own. It's too much, too overwhelming.

So, I would like to challenge our church family to be a part of a 4 day weekend June 29-July 2 to help the Tammany Oaks Church of Christ in Mandeville, LA. I have provided more information on our parents blog page.

2006-03-02T10:13:00.000-07:00

I was just told by a student today that I scare them. To me, that's funny because this is a senior I have had in class for 3 years now at BCA. He said it's because I don't seem to get angry or have outbursts of anger. I started to think about it. I don't think I do have outbusrts of anger. I don't think it's that I keep it bottled up, I just don't get angry very often. Deana could probably correct me on this, but I don't remember really ever just losing it. The last time I remember really losing it was when we were engaged. She made me angry in my car right outside my apartment. As we were going in, I stormed passed her, nudged her not so nicely out oy way and went in. I was so overwhelmed with grief for my actions I swore I would never do anything like that again. Funny thing about that is I think it was a really dumb thing to be angry about. In fact, it all likelihood it was my fault.

Peace

2006-03-01T14:36:00.000-07:00

"Why is light given to one in misery, and life to the bitter in soul, who long for death but it does not come, and dig for it more than hidden treasures; who rejoice exceedingly and are glad when they find the grave? Why is light given to one who cannot see the way, whom God has fenced in? For my sighing comes like my bread, and my groanings are poured out like water. Truly the one thing I fear comes upon me, and what I dread befalls me. I am not at ease, nor am I quiet; I have no peace, but trouble comes."

His plight is one of the most tragic in all of history. Not only does he lose property and possessions, but all his children. All that remains are him and his wife. There is nothing. We're not told how much later. It could have been just a few days, maybe even years. I like to imagine Job just beginning to pick up the shattered pieces of his life. Maybe he had just laid the last stone of the burial plot of his chilren. Maybe he just hoisted the last beam for his new home. We don't know. But what we know is that days later, he is inflicted with terrible sores throughout his body.

At this even his wife utters words of despair. Words sent straight from the enemy. "Curse God and die." Even Job's wife now begins to see him as a cursed man. She seems to think that God almighty has something against him. His body writhes in pain. Unable to sleep, unable to find physical comfort he now can't find emotional or spiritual comfort. In his pain he utters some of the most honest words expressed in all of Scripture. "I have no peace."

I remember when my sister died, people with very good intentions would say things without thinking them through. "Don't be sad, she's in heaven" they would say. "This is a day to celebrate because your sister received her reward." How do we find the peace characterized by a life filled with the Holy Spirit in the midst of such pain?

First, I think it begins with the recognition of the pain in our lives and its impact on our lives. I think it's tempting to hide, ignore or bury the pain. Yet, this is to deny ourselves of a God-given emotion -- sorrow. Consider our Savior. Standing outside his friend's tomb, knowing he was about to resurrect him, he still sobbed. He saw the hurt expressions of those around him. He had heard the bitterness of the sisters' words. He had seen the disappointment in their faces. It grieved him to the point that it broke him. He cried.

Second, I think peace comes when we accept the promises of God. We take the words of Scripture and own them and believe them. They become part of who we are.

Third, we fix our eyes on what is unseen. We realize the hope we have, the anticipation of that day when there will be no more tears. We look toward that day when he calls his own. I think as we do this it begins to put things in perspective. We consider that our momentary struggles are nothing compared to what lies ahead. We believe that one day as a doorkeeper in God's throne room is better than 1000 days at Disney World or any other place we could dream of being.

Anyways, this is what I was considering today. It comes from a couple of things. First, in class tonight we are talking about the manifestations of the Holy Spirit in our lives -- one of which is peace. Second, in 8 days I leave for Alaska to be a part of a memorial service for my best friend's mom. I will also see a road marker recently erected in honor of my sister, Gina, who died in a car accident on Aug. 11, 1992. She was 19 at the time.

2006-02-27T07:51:00.000-07:00

Today I get to see a horse. It's not just any horse. It's Amanda's horse. Amanda is a 7th grader who trains horses and shows them at rodeos. I get to spend time with her learning how she does this and why she does it. I get to video her and interview her about the things she loves. I'm looking forward to spending some time in her world.

I've only been on a horse one time. I was in 5th grade and the owner led us around, so I'm not sure that really counts.

2006-02-26T06:39:00.000-07:00

This morning in Bible class we will be in Acts 13. One of the themes in all of Acts is the presence of the Holy Spirit in the lives of those who follow Christ. So many times Luke mentions the work of the Holy Spirit. It comes over all the followers like wind and fire. Jesus promises the Spirit. The Spirit catches Phillip up, it speaks to Peter, Paul and others. It prevents them Paul from going places to do ministry and leads him to other places. It gives Paul insight as he shares the Gospel with people.

People say it's a feeling or a hunch. Others say it's something in their head, a clear conviction after much prayer and search of Scripture. Some argue that it's a more physical manifestation. It seems to me, that whatever it is (how the Spirit guides us) it is almost always in connection with the good news of Jesus Christ, directed toward others, and glorifying Maybe I'm too busy to listen to the Holy Spirit. Maybe I don't know how. The more deeply I read Acts the more I become aware of the limitations I have placed on my faith. It's as if I have placed God in a box with walls determined by my epxerience of him. Maybe it's time to remove those walls and begin to search with new eyes, a new mind, and a new heart.

2006-02-23T18:31:00.000-07:00

"It is finished." - Jesus

Jesus had done all he had come to do. There was nothing more. He had fulfilled his purpose. Accomplished his mission. Carried out his task. Jesus had lived the life, taught his people, loved them, healed them, showed them the way, trained them, and gave his life for them. He exhausted himself for the sake of God's mission. He could do no more. His work was complete, his mission finished. The rest now lied in the hands of the Father. The rest would be up to him. Jesus has done the possible, now God would do the possible. Jesus had been faithful; now God would show himself faithful. So, Jesus closed his eyes, breathed his last breath, and gave up his spirit.

At the end of a day, have you given it all you could? Have you done all you can do? Have you spent your life for the sake of the mission of God? Maybe that's not a fair question. But if we're called to deny ourselves, take up our crosses and follow him, then maybe we should consider whether or not we are doing all that we can. When we reach that point, God does the rest. As a friend of mine often says "God just asks us to do the possible; he will take care of the impossible." One of the goals for my life is to be able to lay my head on my pillow at night to sleep knowing for that day I did all I could for the mission of God.

2006-02-22T10:48:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday nights we have been looking at the ways God shapes our lives and how we can know he is shaping us. Last week week we began a section of this series called "You know you're a Christian if..." The idea is that we know God is shaping us into what he sees best if we begin to see fruits of his work in our lives. So for the next 8 weeks we are going to take a look at the fruits of the spirit. Last week, we looked at the fruit of love in our lives.

This week, we are going to talk about joy. So many people seem to make joy a goal in life. In Life on the Vine, Kennison suggests that joy is a product of living, not a goal. It is an outflow of a life rooted in Christ in which we see the bigger picture. Let me know your thoughts.

2006-02-20T06:45:00.000-07:00

Dear Sharon,

I don't know if I ever expressed adequately how thankful I have been for you. I don't know if I could ever put into words what you have meant to me and my family. When I consider the impact you have had on my life I don't even know where to begin. You took me in as your own and loved me like a son. From the chicken pox to our family's great loss you walked this journey with me. You were there at my graduation. You were there when my mother was sick. You were there when we needed a hand. You taught me more about how to live than you ever knew. From you, I saw what compassion, gentleness and mercy looked like lived out. Always unassuming, you never wanted the spotlight. You simply wanted to make this world a better place. You wanted us all to live for Christ.

Your life has been an inspiration to me. As you faced this disease that finally took you, your faith remained. You embraced what was ahead knowing the Lord would be there. You challenged me to be a better son. I remember when I walked into your home last June for the first time in over 11 years. Though many things were different that day, one thing was not -- I knew I was with family. It was as if I had been doing the same thing every day.

Though not famous from a worldly perspective, your faith will always be remembered for you are among those of faith who I will look to for inspiration. As far as I'm concerned you're up there with Moses and Abraham, Elijah and Ruth. Though you never met my children they know of you.

The Bible tells me we don't mourn as those who have no hope. I miss you. So, today a cry, I hurt, but I know you are in a better place. I can't say much except this -- thank you, I love you and look forward to coming home one day.

2006-02-16T14:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I posted a quote for a book I have just begun reading. I have been thinking about how I can spend my energies getting to people rather than figuring out how to get them to church. What about you? Any thoughts on what it's like to take your everyday life and seap into the cracks and crevices of this world sharing the Gospel?

2006-02-15T05:52:00.000-07:00

"The church disassembles itself and seeps into the cracks and crevices of a society in order to be Christ to those who don't even know him." from Michael Frost and Alan Hirsh's The Shaping of Things to Come

A woman and daughter need help moving on with their lives. We invite them to church. But what they really need is someone to help them pack their things and move. A girl facing an unplanned pregnancy which brings an uncertain future. We invite her to church, even throw a shower. What she needs is someone to go with her to the doctor. To go to her home and listen to her, to sit with her late at night as she expresses her fears and anxieties. A man arrives at the pantry for food. The food given will last he and his three children for 3-5 days. What he needs even more is someone willing to enter his home, listen to his heart as he talks about working and trying to support three children on his own.

I'm faced with the reality of my life that I spend most my time expecting people to come to me for help. These past 40 days as I've absorbed the Gospels during our church-wide reading project it has become even clearer to me that Jesus didn't wait for people to come to him. He sought them out. Maybe I should spend less time figuring out how to get people in my church doors and more time considering how to get out to the people.

2006-02-13T07:08:00.000-07:00

We survived the weekend without anything breaking, being permanently altered, torn apart or without anyone being electrocuted. I dreaded Hancock Fabrics with Jenna, but she walked around feeling all the fabric. She did walk right into a card board box, though. She cried, I laughed. She even took a 2 hr nap yesterday. So I would say it was a pretty good weekend. Jenna still rides in her relatively new forward-facing car seat going "Wee!!!" as she stares out the side window.

2006-02-10T09:22:00.000-07:00

Ramblings for the weekend...

This weekend Deana's going to be at a ladies' retreat and I'll be home with the kids. Deana needs to be at our church building at 5ish, we will head to granny's at 5:15. Yes, I'm cheating. Isn't it great to have a granny who loves to lavish love (aka spoil) our children?

This Sunday is a homecoming of sorts for my family. It's kind of like the prodigal son. We are back in our original small group that began two years ago. In August, we stepped out to work with college-age students, but that has since ended. So, this Sunday night we are hosting our 24/7 group in our home. I'm excited. Great people to connect with.

Last night Julia took a bath. I had told her to dry off and get dressed for bed and she could have her bedtime snack. Well, she walked into the kitchen in her panties with bubble bath all over her declaring she was ready for bed. Apparently she has developed a distaste for towels.

Have a blessed weekend

2006-02-08T16:29:00.000-07:00

Some more thoughts on the matter...

What if we took seriously the idea we are a new creation? What if we really believed that while there are some things about us that remain the same when we give our lives to Christ, there are many things that are different? What if we took seriously that we need to transform our minds? Develop new patterns, new habits, new modes of living?

I'm not sure this comes merely by sitting in Bible classes or church services. These things are part of it, but there's so much more. How do we learn to develop a heart for the who are hurting unless we spend time with them, listening and loving? How do we learn to share the Gospel unless we become involved in sharing the Gospel? How do we learn to pray as Christ does unless we spend hours on our knees in prayer? In other words, habits that transform our minds can only be forged if we actually commit do doing those things. Maybe this is too much like yesterday's post, but it's what's on my mind right now.

I want to be a doer of the word rather than simply a hearer of the word. I want to live the life of a Christ-follower rather than simply read about what it means to be a Christ-follower. I want a new mind rather than read about how to have a new mind.

2006-02-07T13:32:00.000-07:00

Continuing some thoughts from yesterday...

The other day some chemistry students weren't getting what I was trying to teach them. It was some challenging material. While a few hung in there, most checked out and their minds went elsewhere. Come time for the exam, the majority of students cried that they just didn't get it. Truth is most weren't willing to put in the work needed to learn the material. If it didn't come easily they gave it up.

Could the same be side for our spiritual lives? Could it be that to grow spiritually requires work on our part? It requires studying Scripture, meditating and contemplating its meaning and signficance in our lives. It requires looking at the life of Christ for principles to embody in our own lives and then take them on as our own. This requires immersing ourselves in the community of faith, in ministry and service as well as in the word. It's not only academic. Much like an apprentice learning for the master by following the master and doing. This sounds like much work... It is, but oh what a reward for those willing to dive so deep. Let me know your thoughts.

2006-02-06T12:28:00.000-07:00

If you know me well and talk to me for very long about my seminary experience you will hear me refer to David Wray. Mike Cope, in this morning's bloc entry interviews David. Check it out here.

I think I agree that in our particular heritage we have historically emphasized the need to collect information. The assumption seems to be that if the people receive the information that will be enough to produce the change(transformation). While this may be true for some, it is not true for others. I think our heritage in the past has attracted those who take in information and process it in this way. Therefore, they assume it's that way for everyone. We have historically emphasized the need for more biblical literacy with the assumption that more factual knowledge will lead to more integrated living. I may be wrong as I consider this thought, but I don't think this works to well with most of us.

Just the other day I received a call from someone concerned about what is being taught to our teenagers in Bible classes because of decisions being made by some. Just the very questions this individual asked indicated this view of spiritual formation. It's not enough to get the information out there. It takes more. Total spiritual formation is about more than head knowledge. It's a praxis. A lifestyle. It should include not only study of Scripture, especially the teachings of Christ but also include practices that encourage holiness, concern for others, and community. Any thoughts?

2006-02-03T10:32:00.001-07:00

I'm looking forward to this weekend because on Sunday, the youth group is going to Houston Impact to host children's Bible hour. This has always been one of my favorite things to do each year. We'll spend the weekend focusing on how to love children that come from quite different backgrounds than most of us. We get to teach them a little of the Word and show them a lot of love. In the end, I think we are the ones changed. We're different because as we share God's love we experience it. It becomes more real to us.

Lyrics from Matt Brouwer's "I Shall Believe"

And not everything is gonna be the way you think it ought to
And it seems like every time I try to make it right it all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe.

I'm close to several who are feeling the weightiness of these lines.

2006-02-01T05:45:00.000-07:00

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good
His love endures forever
Give thanks to the God of gods
His love endures forever
Give thanks to the Lord of lords
His love endures forever
who creates miracles every time a child is born
His love endures forever
who has brought forth two children
His love endures forever
who daily teach me to be a better man
His love endures forever
who have shown me what unconditional love means.
His love endures foever
He has given me a bride
His love endures forever
who shows me how to love you more deeply
His love endures forever
who has taught me how to be passionate
His love endures forever
and makes me laugh
His love endures forever
The Lord has given me friends
His love endures forever
who hold me accountable to you
His love endures forever
For others who are constantly there
His love endures forever
No matter what our family endures
His love endures forever
I am not alone
His love endures forever
I don't have to make this journey by myself
His love endures forever
For there are others right there
His love endures forever
For that, I am thankful today
Your love endures forever

Coming home

2006-01-31T10:13:00.000-07:00

I came home last night. I returned to that which is most important to me. I had been fighting to reconnect. I had be striving to become close once again. I tried everything. But last night it juse happened -- and I think I understand why. For the first time in months, not only I reconnected, but WE reconnected. We came together as a group with the purpose of reconnecting. Even the preparation felt different. As I set up stations, the auditorium transformed itself into a sacntuary. I carefully places each station in its place. I carefully considered the arrangement and posture each station would require. As I did, my planning turned into prayer. My preparation became worship. And finally, when the few of us met our attention was not turned on our own lives. We weren't even focused on one another. Instead, our concerted effort was directed toward God and what he has done. As we turned our minds to thoughts of God, we experienced community, we experienced love, and I think even some healing in places in our hearts that we didn't even realize were broken. In all, I think I spent about 5 hours considering Him who endured such opposition. Together last night for 90 minutes we all considered the Christ. We came home.

2006-01-27T20:02:00.000-07:00

Big day in the Nall family today. We are ALL now a forward facing family in the suburban. Jenna got a new car seat today and now gets to look where we're going rather than where we've been. It was fun to watch and listen to her new perspective on life. All the way from the house to our church building she kept saying, "Weeeee...."

I have to admit it was a melancholic moment removing the base and old car seat. Our baby girl is now a toddler!

2006-01-27T08:53:00.000-07:00

I recently took on an added responsibility at the Christian school where I teach part time. In addition to teaching chemistry, physics, AP biology and health, I chose to teach a junior high science class from 11:50-12:25 just for this semester. The reason for this is to spend more time with a teenager whose family worships with us. This teen is invisible to most in our church family. She's not part of our student ministries, her mother struggles with MS, and her father is a shift worker (I think). This extra time has given me a chance to just really connect with a shy, young lady. It's been great. Sometimes, I even stick around an eat lunch with her and her friends. She has blessed my life. I had been praying for the Lord to send workers into her life during the fall. I guess I know his answer. It came in the form of a phone call from our director 3 days before Christmas.

2006-01-26T10:18:00.000-07:00

The more I consider the events of the other night with a small group of people, the more I'm convinced of the need to be more than a collection of individuals who gather. The following are some random thoughts/reflections of what it means to be community.

1) It means being a part of a common purpose that is greater, more important than my individual concerns or wants. This provides the rallying point in spite of all the differences between individuals in the group.

2) It means adopting a set of common beliefs and creeds to which we agree upon. This is shaped by our common purpose. As the purpose is laid out, beliefs, creeds, faith statements are identified that can be shared among all group members. These are held up often together as a way of helping to remind and encourage one another in our common mission.

3) While respect for each member's individuality is important, we must be willing to enter into the lives of one another and hold one another accountable when choices, lifestyles, decisions, actions are contrary to the purpose of shared common beliefs.

4) It means finding ways to encourage others as we strive to carry out our common mission. Group members should feel safe to be authentic expressing both joys and struggles.

These are not the only observations I have but will do for now. They are based on Frazee's book as well as some reflections based on experiences I have recently had.

Check out Steve Holt's post on "Friendship Houses." Good stuff. I was personally challenged by it today.